This video is a classic Saturday Night Live (SNL) Weekend Update sketch featuring Amy Poehler interviewing a precocious 9-year-old boy named David Rasmussen (played by Andy Samberg) [01:05]. David has just written a book titled How to Talk to Girls, serving as a comedic counterpart to another young author's book [00:02].
He
re is a detailed breakdown of the segment:
Introduction: Amy Poehler introduces 9-year-old David Rasmussen on the Weekend Update desk to share his expertise on dating and interacting with girls [00:15].
David's Dating Philosophy: David explains that talking to girls is "super easy"—all it takes is confidence, a smile, and o
ccasionally sharing a snack [00:27].
Hilarious & Absurd Tips: David offers a series of increasingly absurd and wildly inappropriate relationship tips:
Carrying Books: If a girl is carrying heavy books, help her carry them to make a friend [00:40].
Playground Chivalry: If you are in line for the swing, let the girl go first
[00:46]. He also notes, "A girl who used to be fat will do a lot more things than a girl who never was. Do your research, guys!" [00:51]
Playground Socializing: Chat up multiple girls at once to find talent on the playground, even if you end up with her less attractive best friend because "they all look the same with the li
ghts off" [01:03].
The ABCs: Always be closing, and make sure you know your actual ABCs—otherwise, "you won't get that cat on your fat" [01:26].
Cocaine Warning: David warns that girls (especially white girls) love cocaine, but to be careful because it can get exhausting since he is only nine years old and the only balls he
has dropped are in the outfield [01:46].
Amy's Intervention: Amy Poehler finally puts a stop to the segment, telling David it is wildly inappropriate, that he should be ashamed of himself, and threatening to tell his parents [02:05].
Emotional Finale: Upon hearing that Amy might tell his parents, David breaks down crying,
prompting Amy to comfort him. David quickly recovers to deliver his final piece of advice: "Don't be afraid to cry... once those tears start dropping, so will the panties!" [02:21]
Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8d1Aek5XDQ
Update: 9 Year-Old Advice - Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live · 183K vie
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